More on Female Friendship

In search of some true blue friends. This was my story. I've since learned that what I was searching for in people I can only find in God. People always let you down. They don't live up to your expectations of them. Maybe we build them up in our minds to be something that they are not simply because that is what we want them to be.

I grew up in a home with three brothers, no sisters. As I've stated in past writings, I believe this fact has shaped me in many ways. Lack of experience in dealing with females has led to some strange relationship faux pas. For example, since I've gotten to know the inside of a male's head in terms of thinking and emotions, I tend to look at a woman in that same way, and they are NOT like men. You would think since I am a woman, I would know how we think, but like I said, my upbringing has taught me some things! One is...how to think like a man!

I tend to be practical in my thinking. I am not emotional, but pretty much the same temperment almost every day of my life. There are no major highs or lows. I am consistent. I am mellow and calm and live in a state of peace, thanks to my God. Reading the past few sentences, does this remind you of most women you know? I know! I feel like an anomaly! It makes dealing with people of my same sex rather tricky. Not sure how they are going to react at any given time. You can pretty much know how I will react. Not too many surprises with me. Some people may find that boring, but I thank God for it! It keeps me and my family sane.

So, my dilema is maintaining female friends. I know what I am and what I'm not. I don't suffer from pride in this area, but I do believe I am a great friend. I am extremely loyal. I will do anything for a friend, barring something that would send me to jail. I try to be encouraging, and always lift people up. I try to bless them whenever I can by helping them out in some way or just by "being there". I have learned the secret of being a giver. I give until I have nothing left to give, and then God gives me more, and I give again! I believe I am fun to be around. I laugh a lot. I enjoy life. I don't take myself or others too seriously.

Now all of that said, I realize I have areas of weakness also. Areas I am working on with the Lord's help on a daily basis! But is it too much to ask for a friend who will chose to look at all of the positive qualities I posess instead of focusing on the areas of weakness? I mean, we all have them, don't we? Weaknesses are common to all of mankind, so it stands to reason we should expect people to have them and to overlook them if possible. I feel like it's important to look at a person's heart...that is, if you have discernment in that area. If you see that they have a good heart and would never intentionally hurt you, you can give them some grace when they do.

Oh well, life is a huge classroom. I am learning. It's just hard when you completely believe in someone and trust them and they hurt you. It's a wound that goes deep. I have not sufferred the loss of a loved one yet (thank God) but it feels like a death when you lose a friend you loved so dearly. I've learned that God is my source...of everything, love, friendship and joy. He sustains me in every circumstance of life. I don't know what I would do without Him. The only One who will never leave me nor forsake me! He is my Rock!

I've learned that I am a good person, in my heart, no matter what other people think of me. I make mistakes and do things that I shouldn't sometimes, but that's life. I hope to be closer to the image of Jesus tomorrow than I am today! My goal is to just be more like Him daily. To serve more like Him. To love more like Him. To just...look more like Him every day. If I do that, I'm doing His will.

I've learned that people don't deserve to be trusted until they prove themselves trustworthy, even then, tread lightly. Oh don't get me wrong, I still believe in the general goodness of people, but I won't trust a person unless I've walked through life with them for a while. When I've seen them consistently, day in and day out, prove to be trustworthy. But I will never completely put my trust in a human being. We are all too flawed.

I've learned that I value loyalty very much. I expect people to stand by me as a friend because I would stand by them NO MATTER WHAT. I would never cut someone out of my life because they did something I didn't like. I would love them with the love God has shown me in my depravity...and remain a loyal friend. We all deserve to be loved. Love is free, everyone can do it. I give what I have to give, and love is definitely one of the things I have to give.

So in the end, it's good to know I've learned some things. The list is endless, so I won't go on, but suffice it to say that God is not done with me yet! Thanks for reading!