What's Next?

Well, here I am, getting started in the blogging world. Not sure what I'm doing yet, but it is an experiment in the unknown.

I will begin this thing with my story. My story starts out in Northern New Jersey. I was born and raised in a small town in NJ called Dumont. It was one square mile. I come from a middle class upbringing, always had my needs met, parents still married today after 50 years. I had three older brothers and we grew up without anything tragic happening in our family, thankfully.

I went through my teen years and was quite rebelious toward my parents. I began "experimenting" out there to see what could fill this hole in my soul that I knew was there, but I couldn't articulate what it might be. So I tried a variety of drugs and alcohol, I tried everything at least once, but deep down inside I knew it was a relationship that would ultimately fill that void. (Don't ask me how I knew that. I was always very relational.) Consequently, I never did get too involved in substance abuse, and I thank God for that as well.

I began dating at a very early age, but I didn't really lose my innocence until Sophmore year of high school. I met a boy in HS who I never actually dated then, but would later become someone very important to me. After HS, I went to one year of community college which made me feel even more lost. I didn't enjoy college because I had no direction. (Sounds familiar!)

During that year I got a phone call from that boy (who was now a man) that I knew from HS, Chris. He was in the Navy at this time and he needed a date for his best friend's wedding. I happened to be unattached so I joyfully accompanied him to the wedding. It was the beginning of a deep romance, and I knew in my heart that this man was my soul mate. I loved him in HS but never got into a relationship because we were both attached elsewhere.

I was on cloud nine for quite a while in this relationship. I thought this was the answer for me. The fulfillment of everything I was looking for. I was wrong.

I spent as much time with Chris as I could since he was in the Navy, and would go to Florida where he was stationed to visit as much as possible. About 6 months into the relationship I was visiting in FL and was in bed with my "dream man" and realized that emptiness was still very present in my heart. I felt completely alone, scared and empty...while lying next to, who I thought, was the answer to everything my heart could ever want!

I flew home knowing I would never see him again. Two of my three brothers had already told me about Jesus in the years prior to this, but at that time, I still thought it was a man I was looking for. When I came home from that trip I asked them about Jesus again, and this time I knew that HE would be the answer to that emptiness in my soul. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and my life has never been the same! That day, I got filled with love, like I've never known in my life! It was complete and total, and I've never felt that emptiness again.

I told Chris about Jesus and how He had changed my life, but at that time he was not interested in a commitment to God. He was heartbroken, but less than a year later he met another woman and got married. I don't even think they were married 1 year and he died. His ship, the USS Stark, got torpedoed while on a routine mission in middle eastern waters. I was so hurt and confused by his death, but later in my life I realized that God protected me from being a widow at the age of 20. I was planning on marrying this man. God knows everything, and I trust Him.

So shortly after I got "saved" I went to Bible school because I wanted to learn more about God. I couldn't get enough! I was radically saved and I never looked back. I got a great Biblical foundation at Bible school and made some lifelong friends there. I spent my twenties searching for the man that God had for me. Futile search because I didn't meet him until I was 29. (He was previously married, so I had to wait for him to get divorced!) I'm so thankful that I waited for the right man for me! I was engaged twice before my husband and although they were both wonderful people, neither man was the right one for me.

Bobby and I married when I turned 30 and I proceeded to have one child, then another child, and finally our third one was our last child. I love being a mom! It was the only "career" I ever wanted growing up! I realized that dream becoming a mom and love every minute...well, not EVERY minute of it!

We lived in Maplewood, New Jersey at this time. My oldest brother, Mark, lived in Colorado and we would visit about once a year. The Lord began to deal with me about moving to CO before he dealt with my husband. I would periodically ask him if he felt God was leading us to move. He would say "no", so I would let it go...for the time being.

One visit to CO, I was alone visiting a friend, and the leading from God was so strong to move. I prayed a very simple prayer. I said, "Lord, if you want us to move, we will move. Just make it so completely clear to both of us that we should move, and we will move." After this simple prayer, I went to church with my brother. He attended a very dynamic church called New Life, and I always looked forward to going there whenever I would visit him. Anyway, the pastor's message that very day was about a family (in the Old Testament, Genesis) that didn't obey God and move to where He told them to move to. The pastor proceeds to talk about how important it is to God where we live. He went on and on about how great Colorado Springs is! I was floored! I knew this message was for me and my family!

I bought the CD of the service that day and let my husband listen to it when I got back to NJ. He realized right away that it was God and we had to move. To make a long story short, he got a job in CO very quickly, we sold our house at the peak of the market in one weekend open house and God blessed us with an amazing sale price of our house. We were able to build a brand new house in Colorado Springs and we have been here since April of 2005.

God is and always has been an amazing presence in my life. I can't remember a time since I've been saved that I was not led by Him and felt as if I was in His perfect will. Now I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost 12 years and I am asking Him..."What's next?" My kids are all in school full time and I am feeling a sense of new beginning. I can start something new now and I want to do God's plan. I am open. I'm asking, and I'm ready to move into the next phase of my life. I'm excited to see what God has for me. I know whatever it is...it involves the "unknown", kind-of like blogging. It's scary and exciting at the same time. Thanks for reading.